Sometimes it seems as if divorce is just a long series of hard parts. The first hard part: deciding to divorce. The next hard part: telling the children. And the next: telling everyone else. Who exactly should you tell and when? And what do you say when you may not be ready to talk about the details? Here are some things to consider when announcing your divorce:
Tell those whose support you will need first.
It is not unusual to be hesitant to talk about a pending divorce. You may feel as if you will be burdening others you care about with your bad news. So look at it this way instead: you are making a big life change. Hopefully, it will be for the better. Who are the people you trust to react well and provide you with the support you will need? These are the people you should bring into your trusted circle by sharing your divorce news. You shouldn’t worry about acquaintances since they will eventually hear the news at some point and aren’t the people you would usually turn to for support anyway.
Make a plan.
When emotions are raw and the future uncertain, it can be really hard to talk about your divorce. However, you are going to have to accept the fact that you will not have total control over how your divorce is communicated. Your spouse may be the freewheeling type who tells everyone. Your kids may tell their friends, who will then tell their parents. Just accept that the word will get out.
However, if you have a plan, you stand a better chance of controlling the message. Decide what you want to say, how you want to say it (in person, phone, or email), whom you want to tell, and how you want them to handle the information. Some people prefer to tell a few close friends and then rely on them to spread the word. Others want to handle everything themselves. It’s your divorce and your choice.
Tap your network of friends and family.
One thing that divorcing couples get a lot of? Advice! While not all of it is helpful, advice like referrals to good attorneys and leads on jobs or housing will probably be useful to you. Your network will want to help, so let them.
You can rely on Murphy & Cistaro to skillfully negotiate and mediate your issues to a satisfactory resolution. Should the need arise, you can also count on our experience for being aggressive litigators if the situation calls for a more assertive response. Contact us today for your free consultation.