There is some kind of conflict in any divorce, but if you experienced an unusually high level of conflict in your marriage, there is a good chance that it will follow you into your post-divorce life, especially if you have children. So it’s a good idea to have a good handle on how you can manage any post-divorce conflict that may arise; here are some tips:
Respect your ex. Before you married him or her, you found reasons to like and respect your spouse. Return to those reasons and try to see the good in your ex.
Abide by your agreement. Hopefully, you and your ex were able to come to a workable divorce agreement and now you need to abide by it. Your final decree is in actuality a court order, which means you are bound by law to follow it. Even if you have some resentful feelings over your divorce agreement, realize that your ex probably does, too — make peace with the fact that both of you had to compromise.
Let go of the past. Don’t let hurt feelings from the past cause conflict between you and your ex. You need to leave those feelings where they belong — in the past — and move on to living in the present.
Do what is best for the children. If both of you can focus on doing what is best for your children, the chances of a conflict-filled relationship are greatly minimized. Your anger cannot be more important than your children.
Have empathy. Even though it may be difficult, try viewing stressful situations that crop up from your ex’s perspective. You may have to be more flexible than you’d like to be in some situations, but unless something your ex is doing is harmful to your children, it’s best to let the little things slide.
Put your children’s needs first. Your children love both of you and want you to get along. It hurts them terribly when you and your ex fight, so make it a point to keep their needs first. This can go a long way to reducing any negative effects of your divorce on your children, which was probably one of your biggest worries when you decided to divorce. The power to make things better for your children rests with you.
When you are faced with an important life decision regarding a key family relationship, the advice and assistance of an experienced family law attorney often proves crucial to your understanding of the issues involved and your satisfaction with the ultimate outcome of your family law matter. Contact us today for your free consultation.