Parenting after a divorce is never easy. After all, when you and your spouse decided to have children, it was with the idea that both of you would always be there. And even though your ex may still be there for your children, he or she is not there in the same way to help you through the pitfalls of parenting.
In navigating this new way of co-parenting together while living separately, consider these common situations that can create conflict and how to work through them:
Different parenting styles. It’s not uncommon for one parent to be more lax than the other when it comes to bedtimes, diet, or other child rearing routines. This can create conflict even when the parents are still married, but that co-parenting conflict can become more pronounced when parents are divorced. While both parents should be on the same page when it comes to the important issues that affect their children’s quality of life, not every little thing needs to draw battle lines. If you know that you have different parenting styles, it may be helpful to address important issues before the divorce is final by including provisions in the final divorce decree that ensures everyone is on the same page.
Worrying when child is in other parent’s custody. In some divorced families where trust is an issue, one parent may worry obsessively over what their child is doing while in the custody of the other parent. Unless your ex has a history of abuse — in which case it is highly unlikely he or she would have unsupervised visitation — this problem is yours to deal with, and may call for therapy to address your unfounded fears.
Parental alienation. Using children as pawns to hurt the other parent only ends up hurting your children. If your children are being used in this manner or your ex is doing everything in his or her power to alienate your children from you, it will probably take some intervention by the court to get it to stop. Rarely will these “punisher” parents come to the realization on their own that their behavior is harming their children. Talk to your attorney if you see this happening in your family.
At Murphy & Cistaro, we are not only concerned with your divorce today, but also with your quality of life long after your case is over. Your family law issues deserve to be managed with dignity and respect. You can prepare to civilly resolve your divorce, heal, and move on with your life with a legal team that has helped individuals all over New Jersey to heal and prosper. Contact us today for your free consultation.