Divorce is hard on kids, and parents who fight over custody, visitation, or other issues make it even harder. The way you and your ex-spouse behave toward one another is hugely influential, so be sure you focus on setting a good example by seeking to build a good relationship with each other.
Focus on your child. You have probably heard it said that the love for your child should always be greater than the dislike you have for your ex. The well being of your child – or children – must now be the main focus of every interaction you have with your ex. Before making any decision, think first: how will this affect my child? Their needs must always come first.
Protect your child from conflict. Never argue in front of your children. If you cannot behave well in front of them, then don’t be in any situation that throws you together.
Speak well of each other, or not at all. Words can hurt, and when you say something bad about your ex to your children, it hurts them. And trying to make them “choose” one parent over another is one of the worst things you can do.
Keep financial issues separate. Don’t drag your children into discussions about finances. They really don’t want (or need) to hear adult conversations about money and it just adds to their stress to know their parents may be financially compromised because of the divorce.
Be friends with their friends. Include your children’s friends in certain activities or events like going to a movie or camping. Friends are usually who your children will turn to when they want to express their feelings about the divorce.
Be a good listener. Give your children your undivided attention when they are talking with you and let them know they can come to you with their feelings, whatever they may be. Helping them to learn how to deal with conflicting emotions surrounding the divorce will enable them to become better problem-solvers later in life.
If you remember to put your children and their feelings first, you will be in a much better position to have a good relationship with them for the rest of your life.
Protecting your interests and achieving results that support your needs is what you can expect from Murphy & Cistaro. Contact us today for your free consultation.